Time Traveling!

So it's been about two weeks since my last postage! My bad. For those of you who have been texting me and begging for me to write... Get over yourselves dammit. I'm busy too! I'm trying to cope with the move I've made in my life recently that has sent me three or four years back in time. 

Some of you know that I have moved back to "Happy Valley Utah". Yes, it's true... K you can stop laughing or maybe crying. Don't feel too bad for me, I'm doing good thankfully. It's a miracle for sure that I haven't called LDS family services and started my weekly sessions of therapy. Although I am back where I once started, it's been exceptionally fun with my friends here. The worst part of this move is that it feels like I have never left this city. It feels as though the last four years of my life had never really happened. Trips me out!

This time around I'm living with two of my favorite people and we are having as much fun as we possibly can. The only difference this time around is that we aren't playing for the BYU women's basketball team and we are actually happy. LOL. Damn BYU. It feels so good to be on the other team in this college town... The "I'M NOT A ZOOBIE (BYU student) TEAM"! I literally find out people attend BYU and I am turned off by them. Call it judgmental, but... O.K. so I have no excuse... I'm judgmental to no end! I hate BYU. 

Since I've been in Orem I've had some fun times, ONE worth documenting. This handsome boy I couldn't stop staring at all summer semester ;) and I decided to rent a movie and watch it at his new place. To my knowledge he had moved in the previous week. Why is the joke always on me? Is there some written rule that I don't know about where I always have to be the ass of a joke? Well... when we got there all he had moved in was his books (typical english major), T.V. and bed. All the essentials, right? That's what I thought at least! Well when we got there we ended up doing some heavy lifting. Moving the bed and T.V.. Typical, ask that college athlete over to help move stuff. My life! We not only had to move them, but realized that there was no outlet near the T.V. once we were finished. And they say, they as in the intellectual authorities and statistics, that English majors can organize and critically think. We proved that theory wrong! Low point for the both of us. So we put on our lifting belts and moved it around yet again. "Handsome" later in the night thanked me for moving in with him. He got me! Freaking witty sweet talkers always get me. LOL. Nicely played Juan.

While brushing my teeth before I laid my head down for bed I asked myself a series of questions... How'd I go from having to wait till I'm sixteen to date, then only group dating, finally single dating, always remembering never kiss on the first date to leave them wanting more...to then not only kissing on the first date, BUT moving in with someone on the first date!!! LOL. Life is crazy huh?!?!? For those of you who can't read sarcasm, especially my parental units... I didn't actually move in. JOKE. Put down the Bayer or generic brand asprin, you're not really having a heart attack, just laugh it off. It was one of the most fun date/hang outs I have ever been on/had. Did we ever decided what it was? LOL. Does anyone date anymore or is it just a hang out? We couldn't even decide. Shit.

Why Wait? I'm Procrastinating Now.

Today has been full of driving, class, frustrations with a creepy old mormon man who kept flirting with my roommate T.R.E., paying rent and sitting at my parents kitchen table thinking of every reason possible why I don't want to start packing my life up into boxes and move them past that imaginary safety line we jack-mormons call the point of the mountain. And just so you know, I'm still sitting at the kitchen table while I write this blog. Progression and goal setting is overrated tonight.

I've been thinking about different chapters in my life and how we close those chapters and open new one's. This past weekend I helped move a friend into an entirely new environment and city. P-town baby, or as most American's know it, PORTLAND. She was beginning a new chapter in her life and needed a support group to accomplish this page turn. We drove up to Portland and on the way we cried, we laughed and of course we ate a bunch of unhealthy cancer causing snacks and drinks. God bless the Rock Star Punch! My friend, against my better judgement, decided to enslave herself to another year of college basketball, even after my persuasive lecture on freedom and human rights and how she should take advantage of them. She STILL signed her life away to team drama, team rules and controlling coaching tactics that never work and only make coaches feel in power over their 18-22 year old players. When meeting her coach and finding out that he had heard about my background in the sport he asked, "So do you have any eligibility left?!?!?!" After I stared him down with disgust, hatred and almost retched at his ridiculous question. I gathered my nerve and said, "Yes, I do." It took ever muscle in my body to control my voice and body language. And knowing his next move was coming, I prepared myself for an ass kissing.  He then began kissing my ego's ass as suspected. Rolled out the red carpet. Told me I'm amazing. How I'd be such an addition to a program. Reminded me how far I'd go and I'd be a star. Told me playing basketball would solve world peace and feed the mouths of starving children in Africa... Okay so it wasn't that drastic, but every college athlete knows this door-to-door salesman bull shit routine that college coaches pull to prospective athletes. They make you believe that their product is the best and that your life will be changed with only 4 easy payments of 1 year of your life in solitary confinement to basketball. Knowing all the tricks and that no college coach is actually honest or trustworthy, I simply stated, "I don't want to play. I hate commitment and authority." With one step back and the natural fear of anarchy as a dictator, his mask changed from happy salesman to an I.R.S. worker with back up from your local police force. Our conversation and his interest in tooting my horn was over. So predictable. People continue to prove me right. Control freak coaches with no freaking souls. By the way I forgot to say to him, "GET MAYA HER BED FRAME AND DRAWERS OR WE'LL MEET AGAIN YA SHMUCK!!!"

While on and after this trip I reminded myself of the chapters in my life. Some chapters amazing and page turners, then others complete page fillers and awfully written. I always remember the people I've met that have had a huge impact on who I am and who I have become. Most for good and then those few people I like to call trials created by God as a sick inside joke I have yet to be invited into. One day I'll laugh I'm sure. But what I remembered most about moving my friend is... how much I hate moving!!! Now I'm back in Utah and have to pick up and pack up all my shit and move it from my parents basement and then into an apartment in Orem. I don't know what is worse ya'll, my parental units basement or Orem Utah's ideology. Although I have two of the best roommates anyone could ask for and we've been reunited miraculously after three years! This chapter of my life might be the most fun and awful experience of my life. Which could create some really entertaining blogs and memories. Stay tuned. I'll blog it. No worries. Go Thunderbirds!!!