Thursday, August 21, 2008


This summer has been a cluster of awful relationships. Is it just me, or does it seem that no one has good relationships anymore? No one is honest with their partner or themselves. Black and white does not exist, only gray. I'm so sick of getting caught up in all these games, not only in my relationships, but others. Dating in Utah is the biggest joke of all. This Blog is for all my girlfriends that are completely disgusted with the dating scene and how freaking twisted dating has become. 

To start things off, dating does not exist. Only few and far between actually ask girls out on dates. Instead our culture has taken the "hang out" to the next level and this has become the modern day dating ritual. We all know what it means now when someone says, "Wanna come over and watch a movie?", code phrase for, "wanna come over and make-out while a moving is playing in the background." (the worst is when you pick a movie you actually wanna watch, so frustrating) We are all guilty of this and I don't blame guys, because girls have created this dilemma too. We act completely awkward when guys ask us on a date. It shows interest and puts us on the spot to either show that we are interested by saying yes, or not showing interest by saying no and then becoming that bitch that no one will ask out in fear of rejection. And what mormon mom started the bull shit, "Never say no when a boy asks you out". For a culture that pushes the D.A.R.E. motto, "Just Say No" like it's a article of faith or 10 commandment, it's funny they push you to lead guys on by always saying yes. But then after you lead them on and they try to kiss you or touch you, you better SAY NO! How confusing does that make prom night for teenage girl's and boy's.

Dating makes things black and white. They ask us out and we know they are interested, and by asking us out they totally expose themselves as being interested in us. Our generations is so petrified of exposing our emotions to anyone, especially the opposite sex. Emotions show weakness or make us vulnerable. No one wants that anymore. Making gray situations is the easiest and most comfortable way to interact with who we are trying "hollar" at. This is a typical thought pattern: Come hang out... if we make-out cool, if we don't then at least you don't know that I wish we had made-out and I'm not embarrassed at the end of the night. Are you kidding me? You all know what I'm talking about. We all gotta keep that upper hand ya'll. We all do this, always avoiding the option to look sincere or whoop'd. 

The last boy I seriously dated never took me out. We had been friends for years and he must have thought we were past the "woo'in" stage. What a moron. It didn't help that he was too proud to work and didn't have a job. What's with the work ethic of men these days? Pathetic. How do boys expect us to be with them when they can't even show us they can take care of us or themselves? On another note, I understand boys don't do cute things for girls like bring them flowers, write poetry, or tell girls that they are beautiful... why because most girls make guys feel stupid for doing it. They make guys feel like that isn't masculine to be so sincere and thoughtful. But for those of us who are grateful for those small acts of kindness, thanks a lot boys! Keep that shit up. I had a boy tell me once, "I don't know if I should get you flowers because you'll probably make me feel stupid for doing it". Are you kidding me?!?! Just because I am athletic and assertive doesn't mean I don't like being treated like a girl! This is the same boy who gave me flowers on graduation day 5 years ago, and I STILL have those flowers. Just shows that just because you are kissing and rolling around on a couch with someone, doesn't mean you even know that person at all. LOOK DEEPER dip shits. 

Now for my final frustration with the dating scene. Is it the divorce rate or our culture that has turned dating into a "window shopping" mentality. Don't fall in love because you have a better chance keeping a relationship if it's ran more like a business. Do we both get something profitable out of this tangle of emotions or lack there of? We are no longer looking for love but forcing ourselves to love qualities and compatibilities instead of a person. We are shopping for convenience in our partners. The connection, attraction, friendship and LOVE is downplayed to whether they are beautiful to everyone else, they can cook, fix a car, tell a decent joke, make millions, hold a high calling or position in our churches or communities, they like the same athletic teams as you, vote for the same political party, or even down to the stupidest thing as color of eyes or hair. We've all created our "TYPE". It is my personal belief that having a "type" is just an illusion we create for ourselves to thin out the herd. I don't believe we really have a "type". We create an ideal person and we find the picture of love we've painted in that "type" of person. When do we let down our guard and really look for love and not go shopping for what we think is perfect for us? For those of you who are reading this and still have the opportunity to find what you really need and not what you are looking for. DO IT. Stop building a person up in your head. Let it come and don't deny what you feel because of what you've limited yourself too. Be honest.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Where's my Orange Wig, Red Nose, and BIG Shoes?

Summer session is finally over! Thank heavens because it has really been putting a damper on my blogging and social life. It's been over a week since I've written on my blog. How freaking lame, I know.
 I got my grades back and found that you CAN actually get a lower grade on a paper if your paper is too advanced for even the professor. My professor asked me at one point to dumb my research paper down. What the hell does that even mean? Everyone knows you are suppose to use the most credible and scholarly sources you can to give your paper value and credibility. Have you ever had a teacher or professor tell you, "The texts you are using are too advanced for your audience." Is it me or did he just say my paper was too advanced for him? Is it NOT a research paper for his class? He IS my audience. Is our educational system so inadequate that students are actually getting docked points and letter grades for challenging the teacher or professor to learn and comprehend along with their students. When it comes to grading, a teachers opinion becomes fact. Why is this? Because some other authority gave them this position as an authority and that gave their opinion credibility and value. Is it my fault as a student that a teacher rather be entertained in a paper than informed and challenged? Have I paid and attended school to learn how to entertain or to learn how to challenge myself and critical think? Once again I am more valuable as a clown than a free thinker. I am disgruntled. The educational system is flawed. I'm over it. It's dead to me.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I should not be doing this. So little time!

I have been twitching like an drug addict since my last blog entry. I really do not know if there is a cure for this blogging disease. Right after I post a blog, I start thinking and begin creating my next. It's really annoying when you live your life deconstructing every situation in story form and whenever something funny happens you mentally note, "Blog that shit Chelsea." A little memo to self never hurt right? It's funny because I have been running into random people and they all have discovered this blog and are reading and having friends and family read my blog too. I'm so happy that ya'll are entertained and supporting me in this. It's fun to have an audience with my writing. Thank you.

It's finals week and I really shouldn't be doing this, but I've come to a conclusion on my college experience, mainly the Dixie State portion and I have to write this while it's fresh. I was brought to this conclusion by the magic of this blog. Now some might know me personally and know that I have a "loose tongue" and a "vicious mouth". This meaning that I don't really filter what I say to others too much. Some people are absolutely entertained by this characteristic, I'm guessing why that is why you keep reading this blog. Now I have a lot of friends and I'm assuming a lot of enemies because of this too. It's really a love or hate characteristic. I guess when I was in sunday school as a child and they said, "treat others as you would like to be treated", I took that little diddle to the extreme. I treat other's with unfiltered, unedited honesty and I expect that back. I also think I was trained to be this way by my family, you have to really love yourself to make it through a dinner at the Robinson house. Teasing is inevitable. 
So while at Dixie State, my authorities continued to add and enforce futile rules on me in order to show me who had control. Now by the time you are 22 years old, calling your coach that is like 5 years older than you and unprofessional by her first name (everyone called her that, it's her NAME), missing a class here or there, or saying "NO" when they are making you dance or do the worm for the entertainment of other's, just seems like that should be my right as an adult. Right? Well it wasn't. Jumping through hoops and being a puppet should be the definition of a college athlete... so a clown pretty much. Only here to entertain and please. Tah-Duh! 

Anyways, while at Dixie State, I became a free thinker. How scary is that for an athletic department! I was not longer an "athlete", in the sense that I thought for myself and realized that all the rules and regulations being put on me were actually pointless tools for tyranny. My soul purpose was to shoot a ball and score, and they thought it necessary my entire life should be controlled for that purpose alone. Little extreme. I KNOW! Especially since shooting a stupid basketball doesn't mean crap in the big picture some people like to call LIFE! Getting to my point. When I was at Dixie I became a English major by default. The history degree I was promised never existed and wasn't going too. Isn't that an awesome way to start off a trust between player,coach and establishment. I was shoved into the English classes and told to make it work. I couldn't remember the last time I wrote a paper. Are you kidding me! (Not knowing that English was actually my niche and eventually finding out that I absolutely love it, ya'll got lucky, and for that I sincerely say thank you, mean it.) Do you think my oppressors knew that teaching me to critical think and write might be their worst solution for controlling me? That's just a simple fact, knowledge is power baby! If they ever took education seriously while they were in college they might have learned in their basic history class that you never give someone you are trying to oppress simple reading and writing tools. That's just stupid. It's just gonna bite you in your fat ass down the road when you are overthrown and beheaded. Eventually my free thinking and assertiveness was tagged as my down fall and I was kicked off the team for freedom of speech... or in their defense, they might call it anarchy. It's a strange feeling, being feared for your securities. (It wasn't completely my mouth, I know I was still 2 credits short of eligibility because ya'll can't count my progress towards a degree worth shit, don't worry I'll take the fall to cover your ass, I'm a good friend) This blog was written because after continually hearing through many grapevines and gossip circles, I have found that it has been said, "Chelsea's mouth is her worst enemy." All I can say to that, is thanks for empowering me with the pen! Cause my speech and discourse are not an enemy, but my greatest tool! Thank you for that, mean it!