Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
my mind paralyzing attraction;
they’re perfect in every reaction.
applying pressure to my every exertion,
my desires want solutions.
two souls perfect communication.
beats and pulse heightened-
holding my breath to create distraction.
why can’t I describe you;
only feeling mesmerized by you.
you’re not even aware of your natural mastery-
I’m clinging to your every faculty.
in sync without speaking;
my curiosity overcomes thinking.
logic and reason become an illusion
captivation creates conversion.
rare in a companion-
my most fatal attraction.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
10. Crystal Light Lemonade & White Grape. Freaking bomb and it is totally substituting my Coke addiction .
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
This trip will be like all the rest of my visits. Telling stories of our college experience together, throwing bubble gum and cup cakes at ceilings, BW3's, I'll be making my layered breakfast Kim dreams about at least once a week, and late nights playing a little game of, "would you rather" with Kim. Nothing tops my offer, "Would you rather eat with your butt, or poop with your mouth?" Yeah I'm classy. You all know what you rather do. Don't hesitate.
I'm not gonna lie, I'll probably break the shit out of lent while I'm out there. Great fried foods and wings! It's inevitable. I NEED Coke, plain and simple. Kim and I were discussing how great it is that I will be out there at the same time our beloved Cardinals will be marching their way to a National title. Perfection. GO UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
I apologize to the following:
*Sonic- "Happy Hour" just isn't the same without me, I'm sure.
*Julie-I know you have offered me Coke like 6 times and I have rudely denied it. You're my only true friend, because you offer despite my stupid endeavours. You really love me.
*Katrina & Danielle, for leaving them in their addiction alone.
*Anyone who feels bad for drinking soda around me while we eat. (Drew! Go ahead and drink that coke in front of me)
*My mental health and happiness.
*My pants that no longer cup my ass so perfectly. You'll probably be replaced sucka's.
*And last, but definitely not least COKE. We'll meet again.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
How do you even define this label we call tool-age. I'm going to do my best and attempt defining "The Tool". The tool: Men who are emotionally and physically high maintenance. Attention whores. Liars. Cheaters. Have an ego on steroids. Spend over 150 dollars on all their jeans. Probably didn't graduate from high school or even attempt too. Usually practice good skin care and might spend close to 1/3 of their pay check on hair products, hair cuts, lotions and teeth whitening kits. One-up kind of guys. (for example: my truck is bigger than your truck. Competition with size is common with tools because of lack there of with their size physically). Women abusers, not always physically, but most likely verbally. This is my definition of the tool. Not attractive.
You might wonder why I would blog about such a worthless thing as a tool, but I have come in contact with so many over the past three weeks. My cup runneth over with tools. And for the first time in my life, I LOVE IT. Not loving it enough to actually date one, but they can be fun and extremely entertaining. Let me get to my point, while on a double date last night I witnessed not only a tool, but a tool chaser. You might ask what a tool chaser is and what would they be defined as. Let me assist you, a tool chasers is: a girl who has tool fever and continues to go after and give attention to these men. I like to call them the enablers and in conclusion, they are the sole reason why tools even exist in our society today. Everything in life comes down to the simple theory of supply and demand, even sex. If we stop dating tools they will eventually die off like every other worthless and threatening thing. A.K.A. dinosaurs and polio.
Last night was one of those moments where you get so excited that you do creepy witch fingers like on the Wizard of Oz and can't help but smile ear-to-ear in pure enjoyment. My date was my oldest best friend ever Weevi, or some might pronounce and call him by his baptismal name, Levi. The best part was that Weevi was just as equally excited as I was, because we are best friends and have shared the same interests since we were in diapers, our interests being: building forts, playing legos, learning about each other's anatomy and being critical of the stupid people that surround us in our everyday lives... A.k.a. TOOLS! We sat back using our eye language some might call E.S.P.. We developed this over the many years of Sunday school and time outs my mom would give us when we would trash my basement in a simple game of build the biggest damn fort physically possible using every blanket, couch and cushion my house could supply. Our imagination was endless and way too curious. I was recently updated on things I must have suppressed from my childhood to prevent myself from guilt or embarrassment. LOL. WEEVI REMEMBERS EVERYTHING! Damn elephant.
We sat back all night and watched this tool chase his prey, prey that was willing to freeze on a slope just so that the tool would still think she was cute and desirable. Before we even got on the mountain I thought this kid was Shawn White by how he was talking about his snowboarding skills to bait in his tool chaser. Be ye not so stupid ladies, usually when guys can't shut up about themselves they are so full of shit their eyes are brown. His eyes were B-R-O-W-N! This was the case, he was riding through the park hitting nothing, but when we were in the car he made it seem like he was superman. If he was a gentleman with a brain, he would cater to a girls needs and take her on runs she would enjoy, but instead he was advertising himself, TOOL. There is nothing in life more entertaining than the mating rituals of human beings. The trickery and parts we all play to lure in our prey. Priceless. LOL. What idot's humans are.
Ladies! Stop fueling the need for tools. Seriously, get some confidence and date someone who has a job and actually is a man. Supply and demand. Stop demanding and their will be no supply. Thank you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
If you are wondering what the "I started" means in my title, it's not my period. Why do our minds go there? Ha ha ha. After much talk and wrestling with the idea of writing a book, I have finally started it. As of March 5th, 2009, my book is under construction. What a struggle it has already been, I'm trying to get all these ideas down on paper and organize them so that I don't forget any crucial details. It's killing me already and it has just been a day. I'm bouncing around like crazy, which is normal for me. For all of those who will recongnize bits and pieces of yourself within my book. I'm sorry if I misinterpret details. Realize it is fiction and you are just inspiration for my characters within it. And always remember, there is no narrator or interpretation we can trust as a reader, sometimes not even our own interpretations. That's why reading and writing is such a personal thing. I love writing, and I hope you guys love reading. Thanks for everything!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
My baby step for a new years resolution is the widly celebrated Catholic lent. I can handle 40 days and 40 nights, (unless it was my 2005 promise to stop swearing/cussing/cursing/making everyone around me laugh a lot) instead of the dreadful 365 days of a new years resolution, also known as the year long commitment of hell. This lent discovery and fasination all started my freshman year of college, I was blessed to have the most amazing roommate and life long best friend Kimmy. I have always been completely mesmerized and captivated by intelligent people my whole life. Kim is by far the smartest smarty pants I've ever met, although my Pappas is neck n' neck with her, both so incredibly intelligent. They are my two science super nerds. I like to think I balance them out by using the other side of the brain, but I can't compete. All I can say is, when your roommate can memorize an entire medical terminolgy text book in one night and diagnose every creepy quirk about you, which might include your sweety palms, deviated septum and social anxiety, you've got to take her seriously. And this diagnoses of hers also triggered the social anxiety of mine, SO EMBARRASSING! I then and there decided to believe every damn word she said without the blink of an eye. She introduced me to lent and all of its rules and regulations, I then decided to give up Coke (the only love of my life) for the alloted time she instructed, watched her get an ash cross stamped on her forehead by a unattractive priest and I was sold. Lent became my sprint version of the new years resolution. My own person baby step to make myself think I'm moving forward and might actually have some self-discipline.
For those of you who didn't know, ash wednesday was this past wednesday. I was informed by Kim tuesday night that we would be struggling for the next 40 days and nights to give up something we both hold dearest in our lives... Food. Not all food of course, we're not freaking Gaundi. Thank hevens, by the way, I've given up sex until marriage, no way in hell I'm giving it up for the rest of my life, what a tard Gaundi could be at times. I mean really, who doesn't fight back or have sex? Although his wife did seem fine with the decision on sexual abstinence, which says a hell of a lot about their sex life anyways, right? Anyways... I decided I needed moral support at the home front because Kim is a resident of the great state of Kentucky and can't boss me around on a daily basis anymore, so I rallied some friends together. My Jack Jack, Mighty Mouse and swobes are joining me in giving up fast food, as much fried foods as possible and we are only drinking diet soda's... if any soda's at all. Mighty Mouse has also added the personal challenge of no candy, this girl is like Willy Wonka! She freaking loves her candy, no exaggeration. It's been 5 days and I'm living it strong Lance Armstrong style, not feeling any fatigue yet. Pray for me, this one is going to be a cruel endeavor. Does anyone else give up something for lent? Let me know how it's going for you. And Kim, Jack Jack, Mighty Mouse and Swobes... be strong!