I Won't Ask!

My friend K.J. and I had conversation on the way to our recreational basketball game last night, and this little session of gab really got me thinking about the things that are okay, and things that just aren't okay when it comes to social settings. This needs to be broken down, I'm going to attempt to get you on my same page of thought right now... 

We all know to say our please and are thank you, to give more often than we take, and to never beg. Oh God, you never beg! You will be stoned with humiliation in our society. Especially if you are begging for love, just buy a puppy if you need that. (Is there a program where you can adopt a dog for the dogs first good months, when it is still cute, exciting and new and then trade it in for another new born when that gets old? Wow, that idea sounds like how most of my friends treat relationships... never mind I'll just get a new book.) 

Now, my conversation last night was about how it is more appropriate to ask to give than it is to ask to receive in our culture. For instance, asking to receive comes off as begging and asking to give comes off as this selfless and a saint-like act. I won't go into how I believe everything we do is driven by self-centered motives and how the word selfless should be taken out of the Oxford, Webster, iDictionary and all other books containing factual information or definitions, because it is a fictitious and fabricated concept. Even if we do something nice, not for the verbal recognition, but just for the simple fact that it is suppose to make us feel good or strike a few good marks for us in "heaven". I often think, I hope St. Peter remembers this one when I ask, "Please, let me in." The simple understanding that this is going to make me feel good makes the act not selfless folks, Nice... but not selfless. Keep up the good deeds though, I have nothing against people feeling good for receiving and giving. 

Okay... so I guess I went into it the whole self-centered theory. I couldn't help myself, people that know me, know I love deconstructing anything and everything about our ideology as human beings. For those of you who can accept that they are self-centered, accept my last paragraph, let go and keep doing shit that makes not only everyone around you feel good, but hell why not you too. Now for those of you who really think they are selfless, you are either the one exception... "A MOTHER" or you are just now realizing and incredibly frustrated that you aren't as perfect as you thought. Get over it. I hope you cringe the next time you get the warm and fuzzies and realize you DID premeditate that you were going to feel those if you did something "selfless"! Sucka. 

Now let me give you an example of when it is okay to ask to receive, but incredibly awkward and forthcoming to ask to give. I was born with a God given talent and genetically perfected hands for the perfect back scratch, tickle and massage. My friends who don't look at my fate stalky hands like they are meat packing or labor hands, know of their soft sensitive side, and they take full-advantage of it. I am asked at least 4 to 5 times a week perform one of those three luxuries for a friend. This is the catch, they always ask and it usually doesn't happen right on the spot because I try and avoid being used more often than not. :) This is where my comparison takes place... Every time after I do not serve them, they later ask or state in disappointment, "You never scratch/tickled/massaged my back!" Now, asking to receive is one thing... but is it my responsibility or at all socially acceptable to walk up to a friend and say, "Hey! I want to scratch/tickle/massage you!" Is that not creeper status and awkward! Sometime asking to receive is just more acceptable than asking to give. Amen.