Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Getting Settled in.

I am starting to find an interesting trend in making life changes. I tend to move around a lot, change jobs, or find new circles of friends to spend my time with. This might just be my personality, or maybe just an addiction I have that helps me to not get too comfortable or attached. Funny thing is, I always get comfortable and attached. I fail miserably. My own personal opinion is that I might have social A.D.D., KIMMY is that even a legit diagnosis? What I mean by that is, I enjoy a variety of people or scenes, and become incredibly uncomfortable if I don't get my freedom. Change has been made and it's been extremely satisfying.

A good example of this is my college career. I went to four different colleges, who does that, especially if they still don't have their bachelors degree?...April baby, I finally get that degree we all thought would never come. Why did I change colleges so freaking much... because I got bored, felt trapped, overwhelmed by commitment and kicked off basketball teams! Yes, once it wasn't my choice to leave ha ha ha, but an extremely entertaining experience. My trend has been noticed by close ones and brought to my attention on many occasions. One of my best friends, who I have nicknamed Worm for certain personality characteristics that have been proven wrong over the years, says that I play muscial chairs with my friends. Never getting too close or comfortable with a certain friend, or just loving to feel popular is probably her biggest argument. These are both true statements. I love people, attention and whatever else comes along with having random friends. Another close friend says to me the other night, "You hide your emotions with humor and laughs to avoid getting serious or attached, but there is a deeper side to you that only few get to know." Now I don't know if that's all true, but I do tend to avoid my feelings by laughing at them to down play their significance. In the last couple months I broke these personality traits and got royally screwed by showing emotion and getting too close to friends. Why should anyone ever get attached or be emotionally honest if nearly no one is trustworthy? Moral to this story is, change your friends and change your location, but don't change who you are. Hide behind humor and laugh your ass off with a bunch of friends instead of just a few. :)

One thing I have noticed with all my moves and changes, is that you always seem to find the right types of people to help you get situated and comfy in your new environment. Almost like it is destiny you meet these people at this exact point in your life. You are practically spoon fed answers to all your questions about yourself through these people. It could quite possibly be human instinct to seek out or rekindle friendships with the people you wish you could have been in your lastest life chapter. They teach you new qualities and views on life that are priceless and absolutely what you need to survive another day. I've been blessed to have found one or two new/old friends that have helped me along the way and given me new qualities to adopt as my own. We all eventually want to be our better "self" and develope ourselves for the next chapter and relationships in our lives. Being genuine and honest are qualities that are hard to come by. I'm so glad I've found and have had people close who are perfect definitions of these traits.

5 comments:

Marye said...

Hey Chels! I found your blog while blog searching one day... hope you don't mind! Sounds like you're doing great!

Jen said...

Bitch.... I miss you.

Danielle said...

I guess all I can say is....don't get too comfy....and with Dutch and Karen now 'listed' again...you better find that next place :)

James said...

Hey, we miss you in Orem. PS. are you reading that one book that you said you were going to read? :)

Jen said...

You know... I read this again I just have to say that you, like me, are a Friend Whore. So let's whore it up together already, ok?