My biggest sign was when my two teammates tried to force me, the one with the mullet, to wear a headband in our upcoming embarrassment, and by our embarrassment I mean MINE! I declined that offer in hopes that I could save some dignity. We all know headbands are out! I even know that, and I've been out of the scene for awhile, wait... Coach K, when did you dismiss me from your closet, I mean office with force? Oh yeah it's been about 13 1/2 months since the BEST coach in history of making bad decisions kicked me off her team because of her insecurities. Hey! Coach by the way, my therapist wants to use you for a case study, you have my number if you are interested, let me know. She thinks it'd benefit most college athletes that are extremely frustrated and unhappy.
Fact is I went into this league, with friends I'm trying so incredibly hard to be cool in front of, knowing that I was extremely out of shape. I know that my present physical condition was going to be a frustrating factor because I haven't ran or shot a ball since our last game in August. You know it's a not a good sign when your first couple times down the floor you are trying to teach yourself how to run again. Snowboarding restrains my ankles in a 90 degree angle, and snowboarding has been my only means of exercise for the past month and a half. My legs felt absolutely retarded running and jumping around. I was embarrassed for them. I'll stick to snowboarding, save my legs the embarrassment, and while I'm apologizing to them, I'm sorry for neglecting my tan too, I didn't think I'd be wearing shorts in public this winter!
Basketball is not like riding a bike. Whoever used that analogy with everything should be shot in the face. I hate them and their words. I was playing against mom's and rejects that probably never played high school varsity or college ball and they were running circles around my ass. Everyone on my team had the most outstanding showing in recreational basketball history. I swear I remember Chipper throwing it down at least three times and Mighty Mouse shot over 100% from the arch. I, for the first time in my life was forced to play defense because I shot 0% from the floor and the line. Air balling one if I remember the most embarrassing night of my life correctly. God is telling me something, isn't he? Will one of my Mormon friends call me and let me know why I'm not being blessed athletically anymore. Please, zero points in a recreational basketball game is a huge omen for my life. I'm up for any translations of these events that have taken place in my life. I'll be waiting for a call.