Thursday, January 29, 2009

Recreational Fun!

With each and every week I find myself enjoying basketball more and more. STRANGE! I KNOW. This could be due to one of two things. One being, I might like it more because my teammates actually talk to me this season or reason two could be because my skills are slowly and surely starting to re-enter my limbs. I'm not going to go as far as saying my skills are back, but I did actually score some points this week. Which, sadly enough is success in itself.

On a more serious note, the Scorpions are 3-0 and unstopable. I dont mean to be cocky, but I'm saying this because our performance this week shows our ability to roll with the punches and stay on our toes in complicated situations, for instance... only having 4 players on our team this week. You might think I'm joking, I'm not joking, this is too serious of a subject. We were missing an entire body. Our team manager Mighty Mouse failed to inform last weeks MVP of our game (she's not important or anything), that we had a match Wednesday night at 7:30 at Milcreek, the most ghetto ass gym by the way. It's so gross, I actually witnessed a woman changing her babies stinky diaper on the baseline. Really? Not cool.

We arrived 43 seconds before tip off. One player short, and a teammate who will remain nameless, needed to use the ladies room and wouldn't shut up about it the entire drive to the gym. Sadly enough she had stage fright because of the poorly kept bathroom. Damn sanitation awareness and the fact that it has been engraved in most middle class American's minds. Ugh... she was forced to hold it. Then I felt pressured not to pee because she thought it was to gross... Ugh also forced to hold it. I seriously hate peer pressure sometimes. Not only have I lost my skills on the court, but I have to focus on not peeing my shorts too! What a stressful forty minutes I had ahead of me.

We started with four, and almost finished with three, because Chipper couldn't stop cheating, a.k.a. fouling. She got caught everytime! If you are going to foul, you have to make it cheaper and not so noticeable champ. I swear you went to Kearns High School... don't they teach you how to steal shit and stomp on faces out there? You should be able to get away with some fouls deary. And I know I tried to wrap around tip the ball from that fat girl and just takled her, that is beside the point. At Taylorsville High School they taught us how to cheap shot our way into the state finals with finess and class. Winning is winning, right? Take some notes losers.

In the end the four stunna's pulled off a dub. All that matters is winning, don't ever listen to or believe any of that good sportsmanship or just have fun bull crap they tell you, winning is the only thing that matters in basketball and in life for that matter. We don't mess around on our Wednesday nights. Mighty Mouse, Chipper, Maine Thang and The Toothless Virgin showed up with their game faces and took some house mom's names. Out numbered and with potty complications, we survived another week at Milcreek.


Jen said...

the sad part of this post is that I know who the "toothless virgin" is...

really chels? REALLY?

Kat said...

Jeff loved this post. He couldn't stop laughing. He speaks basketball.